I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
