Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i think my tv is drunk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize