Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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