I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
