I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
