So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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