Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
