I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
