If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
