Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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