Say something about gay babies.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize