I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
