Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Little spoons don't ask big questions
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
