The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
and she was petting her beer can
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
