There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize