i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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