Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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