i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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