If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
