Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
