Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
