so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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