his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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