More tranny stories later!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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