I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize