Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
