You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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