Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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