I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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