you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize