I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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