I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize