girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
