i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
