Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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