my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
