you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
