Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
