Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am midnight drunk by noon
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
