OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
