I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
