last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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