in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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