About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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