yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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