Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
