my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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