Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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