just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
