in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
