If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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