If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
