i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
