just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you win again, gameday.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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