btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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