Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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