he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
