My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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