I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize