We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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